I too, am the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter + in an Asian household. Aside from taking care of my younger brother and cousins, I take pride in caring for my best friend too --- the youngest sibling in her family. Sending hugs and champagne clinks to all of us out there. 🤍 May we learn to let loose and know we deserve it. 🌱
I’m the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter (and sadly I haven’t got further for reasons) and also the eldest grandchild on both sides. I feel this so much. My relationship with my parents was very different to yours but I relate to much of what you have written. Thank you.
I was 12 when one sister was born and 17 when my youngest sister was born. Last month, in one Saturday, we celebrated one’s baby shower, and then went out to bars for the youngest’s 21st birthday. There may be photos of me having a POLITE BUT FIRM conversation with the DJ when a half hour had passed and he’d failed to honor both my sisters’ repeated requests to play Dancing Queen. 30 seconds later, Dancing Queen played. My husband laughed, "You had your Lawyer Face on with that DJ." I said, "I call it my Oldest Sister Face." They can be the same as far as I'm concerned.
I'm still trying to imagine what it'll feel like meeting my niece and remembering all those times I held her mom. But I'll take all the ABBA references and lovely paeans to sisterhood in the meantime.
I am an only child but the daughter of an eldest daughter, and from what she's told me, her experience definitely matches up with what you say—she has four siblings, and she was sort of a third parent to them. Thank you for sharing!
I never felt the need to care for my siblings (they were so close to my age), but I definitely feel you on the high expectations and the growing up so very fast. thanks for writing this - I love how it's uplifting and thoughtful and melancholy all together <3
reading this and truly no original experience, even with all the feelings of an eldest daughter; i didn't realize but all my close friends are also eldest daughters lol
Have never felt so seen as an eldest daughter as when I read “My control freak nature that comes in the form of my three planners”. Thank you for sharing your words.
Wow. I am also the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter of an eldest daughter. (Who also cherishes my brother.) I’ve never wanted kids and gasped when I read that text message. I also gravitate toward eldest siblings. My husband, best friend and many close friends are the oldest sibling.
thank you thank you thank you for writing this. as an eldest daughter of an eldest daughter, you reached so deep into my soul for this. every word, from the book lovers quote to slipping through my fingers, resonated so deeply with me. sending so much love <3
i feel seen. sending love to my fellow eldest daughters <3
I too, am the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter + in an Asian household. Aside from taking care of my younger brother and cousins, I take pride in caring for my best friend too --- the youngest sibling in her family. Sending hugs and champagne clinks to all of us out there. 🤍 May we learn to let loose and know we deserve it. 🌱
Being the eldest daughter, BOY. Did I feel this one in my bones!!
I’m the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter (and sadly I haven’t got further for reasons) and also the eldest grandchild on both sides. I feel this so much. My relationship with my parents was very different to yours but I relate to much of what you have written. Thank you.
I was 12 when one sister was born and 17 when my youngest sister was born. Last month, in one Saturday, we celebrated one’s baby shower, and then went out to bars for the youngest’s 21st birthday. There may be photos of me having a POLITE BUT FIRM conversation with the DJ when a half hour had passed and he’d failed to honor both my sisters’ repeated requests to play Dancing Queen. 30 seconds later, Dancing Queen played. My husband laughed, "You had your Lawyer Face on with that DJ." I said, "I call it my Oldest Sister Face." They can be the same as far as I'm concerned.
I'm still trying to imagine what it'll feel like meeting my niece and remembering all those times I held her mom. But I'll take all the ABBA references and lovely paeans to sisterhood in the meantime.
Love this 🤍 That Mamma Mia scene in particular always makes me feel all the feels.
oh no i feel too seen 😅😅😅 thank you for sharing such an insightful perspective!
sending all my luv to eldest daughters. great writing as usual!!
wow, I’m in a similar boat: eldest daughter and eldest grandchild. only child for 9 years until my little brother was born. this hit deeply lol 💞
I am an only child but the daughter of an eldest daughter, and from what she's told me, her experience definitely matches up with what you say—she has four siblings, and she was sort of a third parent to them. Thank you for sharing!
I never felt the need to care for my siblings (they were so close to my age), but I definitely feel you on the high expectations and the growing up so very fast. thanks for writing this - I love how it's uplifting and thoughtful and melancholy all together <3
reading this and truly no original experience, even with all the feelings of an eldest daughter; i didn't realize but all my close friends are also eldest daughters lol
I loved your piece and especially how it focused on the positives and gifts that come with being the eldest. Relate hard. xx
Have never felt so seen as an eldest daughter as when I read “My control freak nature that comes in the form of my three planners”. Thank you for sharing your words.
Wow. I am also the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter of an eldest daughter. (Who also cherishes my brother.) I’ve never wanted kids and gasped when I read that text message. I also gravitate toward eldest siblings. My husband, best friend and many close friends are the oldest sibling.
thank you thank you thank you for writing this. as an eldest daughter of an eldest daughter, you reached so deep into my soul for this. every word, from the book lovers quote to slipping through my fingers, resonated so deeply with me. sending so much love <3