Thank you for sharing, I have suffered from sad all my life and I have never read anything that is so spot on. I have tried to explain myself during these episodes but people kept misreading thinking my actions were against them. Thank you for this, how it would have helped all those years ago.
elle this just so good. it's crazy to see somebody with the ability to articulate exactly what you are feeling and put it in the most neat poetic way possible. i too feel outside of my body because of seasonal depression saying “this too shall pass” wondering what anything meant ever. thank you for this <3
this year - or more specifically, winter - is the first time in my adult life that i actually addressed what i thought could've been pmdd or sad or good ol' depression. it took me a lot convincing from my best first and three months to visit a psychiatrist - well, three different psychiatrists; or four, if we count one i cancelled before the visit because he gave off weird vibes; or five, if we include the first session with my current doctor which i simply slept through (iykyk).
and despite all that effort and time this is still one of the best decisions of my life. i can breathe. the sky doesn't feel lower and lower with every day. i smile, laugh, have inspiration to work, read, and most importantly - i actually sleep! and during the night, imagine that! for 8+ hours! it feels simply miraculous.
reading this essay felt like a stepping in into the cold open water, step by step, until i was midway though and realised that this is how i felt all the time before - and i don't anymore! it still creeps in to me during that week before my period, or when i haven't been outside for too long, or when my chronic health issues decide to remind me that they are, in fact, chronic. but those are singular episode, at most two, maybe three days long. i feel human again and not like a skin of a person who is forced to function and pretend to have something other than absolutely nothing inside. i can breath.
saving this one to reread every once in a while. thank you.
ps it was in fact mixed anxiety and depression disorder after all. so boring and standard, i know.
Wow - I've never felt seen in such an articulate way before. I've been a subscriber for a few months now, and your postcards always seem to come at the perfect times each week. I've experienced this cycle in summer for the past few years and it is EXHAUSTING. Seeing you articulate it so eloquently made me feel less alone. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing, I have suffered from sad all my life and I have never read anything that is so spot on. I have tried to explain myself during these episodes but people kept misreading thinking my actions were against them. Thank you for this, how it would have helped all those years ago.
wait wait is there a series of posts where your titles are just lyrics from phoebe bridgers??
didn't even realize but i just apparently quote phoebe lyrics when i'm sad
dang, soooooo any chance you'll quote something from moon song?
elle this just so good. it's crazy to see somebody with the ability to articulate exactly what you are feeling and put it in the most neat poetic way possible. i too feel outside of my body because of seasonal depression saying “this too shall pass” wondering what anything meant ever. thank you for this <3
This almost feels like you took a look inside my brain. I feel so seen right now <3
feel this, love you, and also love that searows album. spring will come <3
this year - or more specifically, winter - is the first time in my adult life that i actually addressed what i thought could've been pmdd or sad or good ol' depression. it took me a lot convincing from my best first and three months to visit a psychiatrist - well, three different psychiatrists; or four, if we count one i cancelled before the visit because he gave off weird vibes; or five, if we include the first session with my current doctor which i simply slept through (iykyk).
and despite all that effort and time this is still one of the best decisions of my life. i can breathe. the sky doesn't feel lower and lower with every day. i smile, laugh, have inspiration to work, read, and most importantly - i actually sleep! and during the night, imagine that! for 8+ hours! it feels simply miraculous.
reading this essay felt like a stepping in into the cold open water, step by step, until i was midway though and realised that this is how i felt all the time before - and i don't anymore! it still creeps in to me during that week before my period, or when i haven't been outside for too long, or when my chronic health issues decide to remind me that they are, in fact, chronic. but those are singular episode, at most two, maybe three days long. i feel human again and not like a skin of a person who is forced to function and pretend to have something other than absolutely nothing inside. i can breath.
saving this one to reread every once in a while. thank you.
ps it was in fact mixed anxiety and depression disorder after all. so boring and standard, i know.
this is so heartfelt and beautiful elle 🩷🩷
So incredibly beautiful
Wow - I've never felt seen in such an articulate way before. I've been a subscriber for a few months now, and your postcards always seem to come at the perfect times each week. I've experienced this cycle in summer for the past few years and it is EXHAUSTING. Seeing you articulate it so eloquently made me feel less alone. Thank you.
i love this one & i’m so excited to continue this discussion together 🩷🩷🩷
beautifully written as always 🤍🤍 i thought sebastian stan’s performance in the apprentice was great as well