I find it so crazy when a writer has the ability to make you feel like they read your brain and managed to put into words everything you think about on daily basis, and you just did that with this one.
Just adored this – the eldest daughter in me is weeping.
"Much of my growing up and getting older has been centered around letting go of this notion that there’s this alternate version of me somewhere out in this world, someone who is my exact replica but without anything bad that happened." -- I felt this in my soul. Turning 30 was a big catalyst in releasing the should've's and could've's from my life. The person that you are and who you are becoming is magical and is precisely who you've always supposed to be.
I am a former gifted kid and hated to be called from the room, singled out from my classmates to go in a special room for extra work. When I got anything wrong in the regular classroom, the teachers always said, aren't you supposed to be smart? Hated it. Never allowed to make a mistake.
I'm also a big planner. Planners, calendars, notebooks everywhere filled with writing from colorful and sometimes sparkly pens and stickers. I have lived long enough to know that planning won't give me control over life, but it helps me manage anxiety about the future and you know, remember to get things done between a full time job, freelance writing, and my kids' needs/appointments (kind of the point, right?). Even if I only manage to get some of what needs complete finished, I love checking off boxes and making notes beside tasks. Is 55 too old to draw hearts beside plans with friends, or frowny faces above the dates when bills are due? Nah.
Enough about me - I enjoyed reading your piece. Thank for sharing it.
“I’m a different person, making sure I don’t spend my entire life mourning for someone I could have been (because doing too much of that, breathing in too much nostalgia is noxious).” literally one of the best captivations of the harm of habitual nostalgia i have ever read.
I find it so crazy when a writer has the ability to make you feel like they read your brain and managed to put into words everything you think about on daily basis, and you just did that with this one.
oh wow, what a compliment. thank you so much <3
you somehow always manage to take my thoughts out of my brain and write them down so eloquently and beautifully
ily 🩷
Just adored this – the eldest daughter in me is weeping.
"Much of my growing up and getting older has been centered around letting go of this notion that there’s this alternate version of me somewhere out in this world, someone who is my exact replica but without anything bad that happened." -- I felt this in my soul. Turning 30 was a big catalyst in releasing the should've's and could've's from my life. The person that you are and who you are becoming is magical and is precisely who you've always supposed to be.
thank you so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts 🩷
I am a former gifted kid and hated to be called from the room, singled out from my classmates to go in a special room for extra work. When I got anything wrong in the regular classroom, the teachers always said, aren't you supposed to be smart? Hated it. Never allowed to make a mistake.
I'm also a big planner. Planners, calendars, notebooks everywhere filled with writing from colorful and sometimes sparkly pens and stickers. I have lived long enough to know that planning won't give me control over life, but it helps me manage anxiety about the future and you know, remember to get things done between a full time job, freelance writing, and my kids' needs/appointments (kind of the point, right?). Even if I only manage to get some of what needs complete finished, I love checking off boxes and making notes beside tasks. Is 55 too old to draw hearts beside plans with friends, or frowny faces above the dates when bills are due? Nah.
Enough about me - I enjoyed reading your piece. Thank for sharing it.
you're never too old for anything! thank you for sharing <3
i only subscribed last week but have loved reading thru your articles, you write beautifully
if you like films about people just being people i really recommend Amelie! It's one of my favourite films and i think you'd enjoy it :)
thank you so much! and amelie is one of my favorites :-)
i’m so glad you wrote this, it’s beautiful, so honest, and so heartfelt. i feel this deep in my bones and i love you more than words can describe 💌
i love you sarah!!!!!
no other words but just “THIS”.
“I’m a different person, making sure I don’t spend my entire life mourning for someone I could have been (because doing too much of that, breathing in too much nostalgia is noxious).” literally one of the best captivations of the harm of habitual nostalgia i have ever read.
thank you so much <3
if this article were a book, i'd highlight it all
it felt like you stripped off my brain and wrote the spiral thoughts that live there rent free lol
great minds think alike!
This hits home! Thank you for writing this magnificent piece. I look forward to reading more of your works
thank you so so much carmela!
phenomenal, relatable, heartbreaking 💗
thank you <3
Well this essay hit me hard
thank you for reading <3
Thanks for sharing a vulnerable part of urself with us ! This hit homes reading it on my 28th birthday :) ! Lots of love !
thank you so much! and happy belated birthday zaina!
this is incredible oh my god
thank you!!
substack post so personal it made me pull out my journal from 2015 to revisit who I used to be
this sort of essay definitely existed in my journal entry from 2015...i just refuse to read it for self care reasons
so beautifully written
thank you ethaney!