I can relate a lot to what you said about feeling like a burden and not wanting to rely on others. I guess it helps to assume the people you love are as eager to help you as you are to help them. When it comes to the eldest daughter thing, I've also felt kind of responsible for my youngest siblings, but I also feel like a terrible big sister sometimes.
there is something weirdly comforting about the way you write down your thoughts and feelings. from one eldest daughter to the other, thank you for the warm (word) hug!
My perfectionist and hyper-independent traits come from a slightly different place (growing up in an emotionally neglectful household) but the result is basically the same. I have gotten slightly better at asking for help, as I get older, but the instinct is always still to think that I need to handle everything myself and not inconvenience anyone else.
Also I’ve been with my husband for twelve years and a while ago he said that he still often finds me really closed-off and hard to read. I’m 1000% more vulnerable with him than I’ve ever been with anyone else 😅🤷🏼♀️
i feel seen after having read this. especially the parts about hyper-independence, self-sufficiency and not wanting to be a burden... thank you for sharing this with us :')
I'm fascinated by how much I related to this despite not technically being an eldest daughter?? I'm in that weird position of being the youngest child but also the only daughter so it still sorta relate??? Loved this essay, it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one feels literally any of this.
with every essay your intelligence & ability to transform such nuanced emotions into words astounds me. another beautiful essay as always! how i’m not an eldest daughter is still a mystery to me.
I felt every bit of this. and now I am crying at 9 am. but yeah. thank you for making me feel less alone rn
thank you for this comment <3
saw the title on the notification, sighed, opened this up knowing it would be absolutely devastating, loved it
the title is foul i am having a peaceful night please
ok now it's time to dissociate to the song then
number one on my to do list
obviously i should be ur number one priority...obviously
I can relate a lot to what you said about feeling like a burden and not wanting to rely on others. I guess it helps to assume the people you love are as eager to help you as you are to help them. When it comes to the eldest daughter thing, I've also felt kind of responsible for my youngest siblings, but I also feel like a terrible big sister sometimes.
exactly!!
not this title randomly popping up in my notifications on a Sunday night
there is something weirdly comforting about the way you write down your thoughts and feelings. from one eldest daughter to the other, thank you for the warm (word) hug!
me feeling all of this yet i'm actually the youngest sister... maybe its bc i'm just a virgo 😅
My perfectionist and hyper-independent traits come from a slightly different place (growing up in an emotionally neglectful household) but the result is basically the same. I have gotten slightly better at asking for help, as I get older, but the instinct is always still to think that I need to handle everything myself and not inconvenience anyone else.
Also I’ve been with my husband for twelve years and a while ago he said that he still often finds me really closed-off and hard to read. I’m 1000% more vulnerable with him than I’ve ever been with anyone else 😅🤷🏼♀️
are you me (eldest daughter lost in another depressive episode since November and waiting room has also been on repeat)
this is categorically one of the very best things I've read in my time here, WOW
i feel seen after having read this. especially the parts about hyper-independence, self-sufficiency and not wanting to be a burden... thank you for sharing this with us :')
oh i'm going to think about this piece endlessly
took the thoughts right out of my brain! so well written, i love you
I'm fascinated by how much I related to this despite not technically being an eldest daughter?? I'm in that weird position of being the youngest child but also the only daughter so it still sorta relate??? Loved this essay, it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one feels literally any of this.
I… am, I love this, because I felt it everything and I know your position so thank u for sharing this
with every essay your intelligence & ability to transform such nuanced emotions into words astounds me. another beautiful essay as always! how i’m not an eldest daughter is still a mystery to me.