whenever i feel sad, i read this list
slightly corny but necessary (notes app list titled: rules to follow to be happy)
I lived alone during the pandemic for a bit and didn’t really go out for the majority of 2020 because every time I’ve been sick in my life, it’s led to bronchitis and pneumonia. Surely, a virus that attacks your lungs would not be great for me. By the time New Year’s day came around in 2021, I was just sad all the time. I hadn’t seen my family in months, and I only saw my friends maybe once evert two weeks. While I may not believe in many superstitions, I do believe the way you spend the first day of the New Year (leading into from the countdown on December 31) really defines how the rest of the year is going to play out. I had always spent January 1st surrounded by friends and family, so waking up in an empty apartment in a city I was unfamiliar with, flattened me.
I hated that feeling of sadness, the kind that sticks to you like the adhesive of a label you can’t get off no matter how many times you scratch at it. Sadness turned into lethargy and lethargy turned helplessness, which translated into laying in my bed and staring blankly at the ceiling for hours. Isolation had never been an issue for me as someone who loved spending time alone, but government mandated isolation felt a bit different. Around 3pm that day, I decided that this was not how I should be spending the first day of any year. I couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why I was so miserable, so I grabbed my phone and took a countermeasure: writing down small rules I should follow to be happy no matter what.
Obviously, so much has changed in four years, but all of these points still stand. Is it corny? I guess. Do I still read it whenever I feel sad and walk away feeling a little better? Also yes.
happiness is not something to hope for, or seek out. happiness is a feeling, just like sadness and anger. i can control happiness the same way i can control sadness and anger. it comes from being able to enjoy and love what i already have and who i already am. on this note: awe is such an important emotion.
be intentional and mindful in everything i do. i should never mindlessly be doing something. focus on my surroundings, the time passing. more things happen when i am least aware of it. but don't focus too much on the time, or the tick of the needle is all i'll hear.
stop stressing about the future, and stop being upset about the past. i cannot control everything about the future and i cannot fix anything about my past. i can only live in the present, and i’ll miss that if i worry about things i cannot let go.
on that note, learn how to let go of things and prioritize my energy: what matters? what will matter a week, a month, five years from now, and what won’t? what do i need to do versus what do i want to do? find the balance between emotion and facts (subjectivity and objectivity).
tidy up before sleeping —a clean slate for tomorrow. organize desk, wash dishes, fold laundry, wipe countertops. don’t make today’s mess become tomorrow’s, or the days will feel endless. make my bed first thing in the morning.
failing is okay. one bad day won’t make the world crash down on me. one bad detail won’t affect me. remind myself of this when perfectionist tendencies become debilitating again.