summer rainstorm essentials

postcard 62: books, playlists, movies, and perfumes for the unbearably humid, green months of the year

We can't possibly have a summer love.

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prelude

Jean-François Jalabert, Galatée (detail) 19th century

“All in all, it was a never-to-be-forgotten summer — one of those summers which come seldom into any life, but leave a rich heritage of beautiful memories in their going — one of those summers which, in a fortunate combination of delightful weather, delightful friends and delightful doing, come as near to perfection as anything can come in this world.”

—Anne’s House of Dreams, L.M. Montgomery

It is so humid here. A quick ten minute walk from point A to B feels eternal; the air is so heavy that every step I take is akin to trying to walk while submerged six feet deep in a swimming pool. It’s the sort of heat that clings to you like the adhesive side of sticky tape that was left out in the warm weather for too long, and trying to seek shelter in various air conditioned buildings has become second nature to me in the last few weeks. Monsoon season has also commenced, meaning that I have to go days without seeing direct sunlight and getting my socks disgustingly wet no matter how many puddles I cautiously avoid.

On days where it is simply difficult to even get through the day without feeling melancholic and sweaty due to the weather, I find myself becoming even more selective with the movies or books I consume, or the perfumes I wear. The last thing I need in this weather is a cloyingly sweet vanilla fragrance that will react with my skin and and heat and humidity in the worst way possible, concocting a scent that will drive me into nausea hell. And when rainy days seem endless, I simply do not want to watch a movie filled with sunshine and happiness while it pours and thunders outside. I’m unfortunately just not built for that type of optimism.

Here are some of my summer rainy day essentials, which also can be media I revisit whenever summer melancholy season hits. But it’s mostly just how I stay sane during stretches of summer where the torrential downpour seems perpetual.

side note: this was originally supposed to be a paid post, but I am aware (and feeling very guilty) about how my weekly postcards have not been…weekly, lately. I promise that I am not veering towards an entirely paid content model although it might have seemed that way recently, and will always focus on free subscribers as well (almost 100k of you!!). I was just going through a very rough and sick couple of months riddled with a lot of health scares, and I could not put out the amount of content that I wanted to. [on that note, I try to format most of my paid posts so that there’s always some content for free subscribers as well!]

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LITERATURE

The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
I wouldn’t describe this novel as cozy but rather claustrophobic. The narrative of this book clings to you like the rainy humid weather of July as you read about the tragic lives of five sisters in a suffocating small town through the Greek chorus-esque eyes of the teenage boys who are obsessed with them.

Agua Viva by Clarice Lispector
Agua Viva feels like running through a waterfall or a cascade of words. It is more melody than prose, more of a fragmented rumination on feelings than something conventionally comprehensive. The cadence and rhythm of Lispector’s writing in this felt oddly hypnotic, and I felt like I was watching her stretch and fold sentences, making literature malleable in her hands. It was kind of a spiritual experience in a way.

Cheri and the End of Cheri by Colette
A melancholic and complicated portrayal of a relationship that eventually morphs into an affair. Lea, an older, successful woman in her forties has an affair with her friend’s son Fred (Chéri), twenty five years her junior, set in the backdrop of the years leading up to and the years after World War I.

First Love by Ivan Turgenev
A short little book you can read in one sitting. Turgenev, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite Russian novelists, views love through an almost masochistically melancholic lens seeped in romanticism. Such a beautiful portrayal of first love and heartbreak, about a boy falling in love and coming to terms with who he is as a person as well.

The Waves by Virginia Woolf
I read this back in 2020 during the pandemic, when everything felt claustrophobic and trapped; in reading The Waves I found myself floating alongside the dreamy prose, like the ebb and flow of water—unanchored and boundless, which was such a kindness. What I found most profound and life-changing about the book is the somewhat reluctant cognizance that we are a part of a cycle, a chorus, a rhythm interconnected to those of nature around us. A brilliant portrait of growing up and getting older, of friendship and isolation, of sunrises and sunsets.

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
This is probably Steinbeck at his most optimistic which is usually why I enjoy reading this book every spring, but it has just enough of a pensive touch that it is also very apt for a rainy late July evening. A slice of life novel that tells a story of loneliness amid happiness and happiness despite loneliness—whether or not you think that is naïveté or optimism is up to you.

Normal People by Sally Rooney
When I think about a melancholic summer read, one of the first books that comes to mind is Sally Rooney’s most popular novel. Nothing better to do than spend an entire afternoon reading about the insular and toxic push-pull relationship between Marianne and Connell.

This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Fitzgerald’s underrated book and one that I think I may like better than The Great Gatsby if I reread it. I read this over a course of three days full of torrential rain during one of my high school summers, and it was perfect. This semi autographical novel tells the story of Amory Blaine (he is insufferable, heads up), an extremely privileged and idealistic young man, from prep school to college. Possibly the book most representative of the aimlessness and disillusionment of the rich during the roaring 20s.

Acts of Service by Lillian Fishman
It constantly comes as a shock to both me and emma that this book is rated so low on Goodreads because it was an immediate five star read for us (and we both do not usually give five stars). Fishman’s debut does not feel like a debut. With sharp writing that feels alive, the book examines themes of sexuality, consent, and power through the eyes of Eve, a woman in her twenties, against the glittering backdrop of New York City.

Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offhill
A quiet, moving meditation on love, marriage, motherhood, and the fleetingness of being human. I adore books with characters that feel real, like this could be the story of my neighbor or the woman I see at the bus stop every day on the way to work. Dept. of Speculation is tangible and personal, to the point where sometimes it feels almost untoward to be reading the story of someone in their most vulnerable moments because it is so easy to forget that the characters are fictional.

check out more here:

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PLAYLISTS

A rainy day one because…it’s rainy.

My ABBA playlist which I listen to on days where I feel sad. This one has my favorite ABBA gems (Mamma Mia + non Mamma Mia songs). If you didn’t know, I’m an ABBA expert, and I have about sixty home videos of six year old me dancing tirelessly to all of their albums (concerts I threw for my parents against their will).

Specific type of dreamy indie-ish folksy-ish chill music perfectly suited for late summer.

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FRAGRANCE

current nightstand situation

MAISON CRIVELLI rose saltifolia
A classic rose scent infused with the salty ocean breeze—a light aquatic floral scent that is perfect for a summer rainy day.

BYREDO velvet haze
The only perfume with a patchouli note that I enjoy. A transparent earthy scent that eventually becomes a soft, creamy coconut one.

CELINE dans paris
A green gourmand scent that doesn’t smell medicinal or heavy at all. A cold scoop of vanilla ice cream on the grassy lawn of a park in summertime.

GABAR lull
Probably my favorite scent to wear during the rainy summer season. The coziest perfume with notes of cherries, black tea, and a rustle of orange blossom over creamy sandalwood.

DIPTYQUE philosykos
A realistic fig scent that is not overly cloying. Smells like the entire fig tree, from the fruit to the leaves to the roots deep in the soil.

NISHANE wulong cha
Iced oolong tea sipped in a sleek glass cup on a temperate spring day under a citrus tree, wearing a loose linen shirt and a perfect pair of blue jeans.

REGIME DE FLEUR little flower
Dewy, delicate rose in the early morning sun. The black tea note bolsters the fragility with some stability. Light, sparkly, vibrant but reacts beautifully with humidity.

BYREDO summer rain
This is a candle!!! But I had to mention it because it is perfect. The site describes it as: “A sudden downpour, heavy drops sizzling on sun-warmed earth. A refreshing parenthesis on a summer day representing the restorative power of nature. Opening notes of basil and spearmint bring a fresh breeze, with vibrant green fig and ginger. As rain fades, sandalwood and tonka settle, grounding the composition.”

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FILM

La Chimera
Haunted by his lost love and mystical visions, British archaeologist Arthur returns to Italy from prison to resume a career of tomb-raiding, trapped between real life and fantasy, between past and present—forever chasing the elusive red strings of fate. One of those movies that feel like poetry in film form.

Paris, Texas
An incredibly sad and brilliant slow burn of a movie that seeps into your bones and lingers after you finish it. Paris, Texas has no grandiose finale, or crazy plot device—the beauty of this film shines in its silent moments amid flawless cinematography, which is such an impossible thing to accomplish.

Aftersun
A quiet movie about a father daughter trip, it’s a quiet sort of devastation that seeps into your bones like a slow-progressing frostbite—and you don’t realize just how calamitous it is until you finish the movie.

Frances Ha
Frances Ha just gives me the reassurance I need that everything is going to be okay, despite what it seems like in that moment. It’s a movie for that period in your life where you’re not sure what you’re going to do, when you overthink every single decision and wonder if it’s aimless or going somewhere.

Blue Velvet
Not my favorite David Lynch movie (that honor goes to Mulholland Drive) but a fever dream nonetheless. A psychological thriller about a college student who discovers a severed ear on the street and becomes inextricably involved with the case. A dark fairytale and a fever dream, in a way, but in the bizarre Lynchian way, which is the best way.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Céline Sciamma is the queen of sad melancholic queer movies, and this is her at her second best (her best is Petite Maman, sorry). Everything is emotion in this film. The visuals are absolutely breathtaking and brilliant in a quiet, subtle way. The plot and script are great, but I cannot get over how beautifully this film is shot; each frame can, like the title, be a portrait of its own. It is haunting and romantic and elegant—everything I love in a movie.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
A movie plastered in an almost overwhelming amount of vibrant technicolor and floral wallpaper. It feels like a bit of a precursor to La La Land, but then again, literally all of Demy’s films I’ve watched so far feel like that. This one in particular is my favorite of his—bittersweet, romantic, and jazzy.

Bones and All
Probably my favorite Luca Guadagnino feature just because of how beautiful the cinematography and scenery are. It is strangely equal parts bloodthirsty and tender; a love story drenched in blood. The film can be a metaphor for many things, and I need to rewatch it to fully figure out my thoughts on it, but it was so stunning that it’s stayed imprinted in my mind even after three years.

Pan’s Labyrinth
Speaking of dark fairy tales and magical realism, this movie is a classic that goes into my top 10 movies of all time. I watched this for the first time in my seventh grade Spanish class and I remember wondering just how someone has an imagination that creative (and twisted) to form such a plot sequence. The gothicism and striking visuals of the movie is not quite horror, but a genre of its own.

Roma
Another black and white movie that is so fantastic beyond words. Roma is more of an experience than a movie. I watched this for the first time on a rainy day, and it changed my life a bit. Alfonso Cuarón is one of the most celebrated directors for a reason; every scene of this movie is precise and meticulous and has a purpose. Such a privilege to have seen it.

The Virgin Suicides
Sofia Coppola portrays the banality of the white picket fence suburb with a dreamlike haziness. The movie starts with a young girl’s suicide attempt—one of the first lines in the movie is her reply to the doctor who tells her you’re not old enough to know how bad life gets: “Obviously, doctor, you’ve never been a thirteen year old girl”. A tragic bildungsroman and Coppola does Jeffrey Eugenides’ masterpiece justice.

La La Land
Self explanatory, I won’t say more.

interlude i: what i read this week

I am still on my ambitious NYRB summer journey, in which Griffin (briffin glue) and I attempt to read as many NYRB classics as possible over the summer so we can write a comprehensive guide and record some sort of hour-long podcast episode on it. This week, I have been reading two at once: Cheri and the End of Cheri by Colette and Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin. I am almost done with Cheri, which is such a beautifully written book (see above for my thoughts) and I think is so vastly underrated in the sea of semi-modern classics.

Notes of a Crocodile was such an incredible read and I was unable to put it down for all of Tuesday night. I had heard about how good this book was nonstop, from esje since maybe three years ago, and he is never wrong. The book follows Lazi as she struggles with her queer identity while drowning in isolation and loneliness. It somewhat reminded me of Giovanni’s Room in terms of its melancholy and complexity, although the writing style is vastly different.

I also finished reading She’s Always Hungry by Eliza Clark, which is a witty and gory short story collection centered around hunger. ‘Hunger’ in this case is a synonym for desire, and the people in these stories desire different things: thinness, “justice”, perfect skin, and go to extreme measures to attempt to achieve what they perceive as the perfect solution. This one was a quick read but some stories had my jaw on the floor.

Here are some articles to read this week:

1. The Grammar of a God-Ocean by Eli K P William
   To truly explore alien languages, linguists must open themselves to the maximum conceivable degree of cosmic otherness.

2. The Picturesque Picaresque of Barry Lyndon by David Sexton
   Fifty years after it flopped at the box office, Stanley Kubrick’s 18th-century epic is now recognised as an outright masterpiece.

3. A Thin Line Between Mother and Daughter by Jennifer Egan
   A former anorexic ponders the family origins of eating disorders.

4. Diary, 1988 by Annie Ernaux
   “I’ve always made love and written as if I was going to die afterwards”

5. Street Haunting: A London Adventure by Virginia Woolf
   Virginia Woolf on walking and wandering around the city.

6. Memories Without Brains by Matthew Sims
   Certain slime moulds can make decisions, solve mazes and remember things. What can we learn from the blob?

7. The Family That Built an Empire of Pain by Patrick Radden Keefe
   The Sackler dynasty’s ruthless marketing of painkillers has generated billions of dollars—and millions of addicts.

8. So who the hell was Hieronymus Bosch? by Tim Smith-Laing
   We misunderstand the artist if we fail to look past his grotesque beasts and monsters.

9. It was Satire: Caligula by Mary Beard
   The Emperor Caligula offers another case of the King Canute problem.

10. The Mirror Test by Melissa Febos
    “A slut was a careless girl, hands sunk haphazardly into the dough, broom stilled against her shoulder—eyes cast out the window, mouth humming a song, always thinking of something else.”

interlude ii: what i watched this week

Summer always reminds me of Celine Sciamma’s movies (Petite Maman, Portrait of a Lady etc), so I watched Water Lillies for the first time. I did not enjoy it as much as the other two of her movies that I watched, but any time I want to watch a melancholic French movie, I always know the director to turn to.

I also watched Bridges Madison County which was honestly my top 5 watches of this year so far. I talked to my parents about it and they said “you just watched that right now for the first time?” and I apologize for putting off such a good movie until the year of 2025. Just such a good movie, oh my god.

Speaking of watches, I’ll be on a 15 hour flight at the end of this month, and have no idea what to watch on the plane, so let me know if there is a show you think I’d enjoy. I’m scrambling to find one right now.

Some video essays I watched: The School of Athens explained, what happened to the Ancient Wonders of the World, everything to know about Art Deco, video about Before Sunrise.

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postlude

The Camp, Sirius Cove by Tom Roberts

things i love: incline walks, morning walks, iced americano (this is going to be on the list every single week), the sound of rain at night, sunday crosswords, getting lovely texts from my friends, blue cat-eye nails, a really good burger, lace dresses.