2025 ins and outs
postcard 45: on habits i want to keep and discard for the new year
2025 INS:
reading essay collections: essay collections are an ongoing obsession—I love a good essay collection that is cohesive and articulate and thoughtful, and they’re so great to read when I’m short on time because I don’t have to stop in the middle of a storyline.
a cup of tea before sleeping: I feel like this is as important for my mental health as drinking coffee in the morning. It bookends my day and lets me feel more peaceful before I head to bed.
going to small cafes to work: whenever I don’t have to go into the office, I love working at small cafes in different neighborhoods—it’s so cozy and it makes anything I do feel fun and new.
saying “no” more: recently, I’ve begun taking on more than I can handle, whether that be for work or otherwise. I hope to be able to say no and set boundaries in places where I can instead of over-exerting myself and being perpetually tired.
cooking new recipes: I love cooking, but sometimes I get lazy and end up making the same thing over and over again. That’s not fun, so I want to try making new recipes or coming up with new ones as well whenever I have time.
yapping on long facetimes with friends: some of my favorite memories with my friends come from facetime calls where we dissolve into nonsensical chatter by hour two and we end up laughing until our stomachs hurt. These moments are as precious to me as meeting someone in person. Facetimes are underrated!
longform articles: I’ve been making a conscious effort to consume only longform content lately, whether that be essays or movies. Short form content quite literally destroyed my attention span in the last two years, so this is me trying to remedy that.
collecting physical media: I increasingly hate how accessible everything is, and it sometimes feels like the over-accessibility cheapens the true value of media that I love. In 2025, I hope to start having a physical collection of books, music, and movies that I love.
being sincere: somehow, sincerity has become an underrated value. I want to be more heartfelt to friends and family and not be afraid to express my emotions (which means not repressing them), and I hope that people around me return the sentiment.
painting with watercolor: I used to paint a lot before high school (to the point where I was going to pursue a fine arts major in college), and watercolor was my favorite medium. I haven’t painted properly in almost a decade, so that’s coming back for 2025.
set morning routine every day: this one is so important to me. My body feels weird whenever I’m not executing my morning routine on autopilot. I do want to make small tweaks to my current morning routine, but having one I can do every single day regardless of what is happening is crucial to having a good day.
taking naps: I used to be so against naps because I thought it was the most unproductive way to spend time, but I’ve found that some naps, especially during wintertime, are so necessary to being productive. Whenever I feel lethargic and I’m at home, I take a quick twenty minute nap in order to have a better day.
reading physical books on public transportation: honestly, there’s nothing cooler or more chic than reading a book on the train or bus (maybe not bus if you get carsick, like me). Most of the reading I got done last year were on subways and planes, and it’s a much better way to pass time than scrolling mindlessly on your phone.
organizing photos into albums: I love doing this—I organize my photos by season (summer 2024, fall 2023) and also by special trips. This way, I feel like I can categorize moments in my head and also easily find photos when I want to.
handwritten letters: bring back the romance of handwriting letters! I have a box where I keep all the postcards and letters my friends have sent to me, and it’s my prized possession. There’s a sincerity and effort writing letters that does not exist for digitalized forms of communication. I think we should also bring back having a pen pal in 2025.
books from independent publishers: so many underrated gems are published under independent publishers—they generally take bigger risks with books, so I’ve found so many that are brilliant, creative, and experimental, which seems to be the types of books I’m increasingly gravitating towards lately.
long morning walks: read my post on it! put down your phone, roll up your sleeves, and take a morning walk in the sunshine! (unless you live in the dead of winter. If so, please bundle up and wear a scarf and gloves). But walks provide a quality to your life that is inimitable. Not only can you physically feel your head clear up, but you also learn to appreciate solitude.
elaborate sandwiches: I am a staunch believer in the theory that a good sandwich can cure anything. Whenever I am feeling sad or need a pick me up, I find the most elaborate sandwich recipe and follow it. To be honest, anything between two slices of bread is heavenly.
voice notes instead of texting: I am a chronic voice note sender. It first started because I didn’t want to type out entire paragraphs to friends (and also, paragraph fortress walls of texts feel very scary no matter the context), but now, I just think it’s a better and more intimate way of communication than typing something out.
revisiting childhood hobbies: I had so many hobbies growing up, and unfortunately ended up abandoning most of them because of school and being busy. I want to start up activities I pursued seriously in my childhood as hobbies: painting, piano, and swimming.
taking ten photos a day: I’ve been trying to do this—oftentimes, I only take pictures of food and special memories and find myself wishing that I had taken pictures of mundane moments as well.
casual blogging: I love that blogging is making a comeback, and I think doing it in a casual, carefree way with no real format or niche is so fun and therapeutic. I’ve been trying to do that with my Substack as well—making it less structured, which is extremely difficult for me to do.
buying books secondhand: they’re just cooler, and you’re saving the environment. I am still on the hunt for this specific edition of The Waves—someone please let me know if they find a good price for it.
taking things at face value: there’s nothing I hate feeling more than constantly wondering if people have an underlying meaning. Or wondering if someone is talking shit about me behind my back. I’ve mostly left these habits back with my insecure sixteen year old self (where it belongs), but I sometimes find myself thinking “do they really mean that?” and have to stop myself short.
scrapbooking with random memorabilia: I’ve started saving receipts from good days, movie tickets, and random trinkets I can stick into a blank notebook. I also used to be one of those kids that collected stickers and I have so many, so I’ve also been using those to make cute scrapbook pages.
outfit pics: I love taking outfit pics because it allows me to document what outfits I liked, but it’s also a nice way of carbon dating what I looked like at a certain time. Sometimes I look back on outfit pics from five years ago and cringe (in an endearing sort of way), and think “wow my hair was so long and my outfit was god awful”.
chips and dips as meals: I love dips. I will die on the hill that dips are absolutely a food group and should be treated the same way full meals are—at the end of the day, if you eat enough of something, doesn’t it constitute a full meal?
2025 OUTS:
sleeping past 1am: I’m not a morning person by nature and I always somehow come alive when it goes past 11pm. Sleep deprivation is real and produced some terrifying effects for me last year, so I’m hoping to avoid that.
social media apps on phones: sometimes it’s nice for social media to disappear when you close your laptop. I think social media apps foster a toxic, addictive relationship with my phone more than anything, and I’m trying to be healthier with my phone use this year and only use it for taking pictures and direct communication with friends and family. Post coming about this soon.
nonchalance as a form of self preservation: pretending you don’t care or that you care less to achieve the illusion of an emotional upper hand is juvenile and a sad way to live. And is nonchalance truly an emotional upper hand, or is that an illusion in itself as well?
scrolling to fall asleep: self explanatory. Why waste away hours of your life looking at meaningless tweets you’re not going to remember in a few hours? Also, blue light disrupting sleep patterns is a real thing. Pick up a book and read for half an hour before turning off the lights instead.
overthinking about hypotheticals and things that haven’t happened yet: Guilty of this. When I was in college, I used to have six (yes, six) backup course plans just in case I didn’t get a class I wanted. I plan meticulously and think of fifteen different what ifs before making a decision, and it gets exhausting sometimes. Some of my best memories last year were spontaneous decisions, and I want more of that this year.
perfectionism: perfectionism and I have a longstanding toxic relationship. It has helped me immensely in being able to succeed in overachieving, but it has worn me down over the years and has absolutely become anxiety fodder. I sometimes don’t attempt something at all if I am afraid I cannot do it perfectly, and I need to stop doing that.
shallow friendships: I would rather have five best friends than twenty friends I can’t reach out to in times of need. I think I have discarded most of my shallow (and often obligatory) friendships, but I want to make more of a conscious effort in being sincere and wholehearted in my friendships this year.
expensive workout classes: I spent an embarrassing amount of money on pilates and spin classes last year. Workout classes are fun, but at one point it just starts feeling like a vanity thing. I get as much exercise out of a morning run or going to my apartment gym, so I am planning on doing more of that. And there are so many good workout videos on Youtube from professionals, anyway.
giving someone more than i am getting: this is one of the most surefire ways of becoming emotionally drained. I hate the feeling of putting in 100% of the effort and only getting half in return—when I care about someone, I do it wholeheartedly, so in the off chance that this is not the case and it is not reciprocated, I end up feeling devastated. Enough of that.
hyper-independence and not asking for help: I am guilty of pretty much never really asking for help, or asking for help and feeling so guilty that someone is taking the time to help me or worry about me. Much of this stems from two decades of stubborn hyper independence, so I’m trying to let that go as well.
one signature scent: this is just because I own way too many perfumes that I have to use up. But in general, wearing different perfumes (buy travel sized first!) for different moods and outfits can sometimes be the most fun part of the day.
4+ hours of screen time: maybe this is just a me thing, but at one point a high screen time just feels deeply upsetting. I can also feel my glasses prescription getting higher and I’m already legally blind.
impulse buying during sales: whenever I see the x% off sign, I enter a fugue state and maniacally brainwash myself into thinking that I absolutely need whatever item I’m fixated on. I have started asking myself if I truly need it and if I would buy the item full price. If the answer is no, then I try not to fall for the shiny illusion of a good sale.
irony: Ethel Cain writes about this better than I ever can, so I am just linking her essay here. I do think the world is facing the death of sincerity, which is a bit terrifying.
holding grudges that ultimately don’t matter: I’m guilty of holding grudges and not showing it until my resentment towards them erupts like a supervolcano. Not healthy for anyone involved.
“_____” girl aesthetic: the aestheticization and tropification of everything is one of the worst things to have come out of social media—Tiktok in particular. I want to be able to enjoy things without someone telling me that I’m adhering to a “clean girl aesthetic” or a “vanilla girl aesthetic”. Just let me be, please.
the word "situationship": self explanatory. This word gives me hives.
worrying if something is cringe or embarrassing: this is just not a fun way to live. Cringe or corny is subjective to the person, so there is always going to be at least one person in the world who thinks what you do is embarrassing. Why should I stop myself from doing something I think is worthwhile for the approval of a stranger who doesn’t matter?
constantly having on a show in the background: I am so guilty of this. I leave a rerun of a show in the background all the time whenever I clean or do a mindless task, and then I end up taking way more time than I intended. Instead, I’ve either been listening to podcasts or putting on a playlist.
online shopping: I’ve had too many instances in which I buy too many clothes under the self made promise of a refund. And then I miss the refund date. I also don’t like the idea of buying and refunding at all, and shopping online gets rid of the best part of shopping: going into a store, browsing, and trying on something that fits perfectly.
identity through material consumption: I wrote about this last month, and ever since, I’ve noticed myself doing it a lot. I want to find my identity outside of the things I purchase. A lot of soul searching and puddle jumping, if you will.
repressing emotions: I actually got pretty decent at not doing this for the first time in my life last year. I think journaling and forcing myself to talk about my feelings (despite feeling genuinely nauseous after) will somehow wean me off repressing and denying any emotions at all time because I think they’re inconvenient.
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if elle says it’s in? it’s in. if elle says it’s out? it’s out.
this is THE ins and outs list, absolutely loved it